Thursday, April 29, 2010

Biz Buzz

The branches of the federal government have, since the end of World War II, abetted and contributed directly to the debasement of standards of conduct -- legal, civil, and ethical. The results are evident everywhere, including the "hard-headed" world of business. Here is a brief guide to business-speak; each word or phrase is followed by yesteryear's fitting word or phrase:

-abled, -challenged...crippled (before handicapped)

analysis...guesswork

associate...employee

business-process or re-engineering consultant...hatchet man

(to) communicate, (to) share...(to) tell

concern (of employee)...gripe

(to) counsel...(to) warn

empowerment...responsibility

(to) give developmental feedback...(to) appraise; as in:

  • walks on water...only Jesus could
  • superior...good
  • excellent...fair
  • good...poor
  • fair...one more chance
  • poor...out the door

expectations...standards

feedback (sometimes "input")...criticism

holiday party...Christmas party

Human Resources...Personnel

input (alternate meaning)...idea

networking...glad-handing; as in:

  • "Let's do lunch (not!)."..."(Not) good to meet you."

management guru...b___ s___ artist

MBWA (management by walking around)...goofing off

mentoring...OJT (on-the-job training)

organizational dynamics...back-biting, back-stabbing

output...work

paradigm...theory

position...job; as in:

  • assistant...clerk (also "gofer" and "flunky")
  • administrative assistant...senior clerk
  • executive assistant...secretary
  • team leader...supervisor
  • manager...boss
  • executive...manager
  • chief operating officer...general manager
  • chief executive officer...president
  • chairman...Mao

stakeholder...employee or shareholder (but not "customer" or "public-at-large")

teaming area...conference room, coffee bar, vacant office

teaming, teamwork...cooperation

terminated...fired; as in:

  • de-selected...fired
  • down-sized...fired
  • out-placed...fired
  • laid-off...fired (unless you worked in a union shop)

work space, work station...office, desk, counter